| OHH my goodness, i can't even believe what happened the other day. Check it out. You all know how i say i don't like to associate with alot of ninjas-- because there are so many of them that perpatrate these days. Well, the other day i was in a ninja sword store minding my own business, and like the owner kept looking at me. (at this point i think he realized who i was) He then started smiling, and said, "A CHINGA CHONG CHANG CHANG," which translates to, "HELLO PLATS YOU ARE MAGICALLY QUEER-TASTIC AND THE SWEAT FROM MY GENITALIA IS YELLOW AND RIPE." My translation my be a little rough, but i've been READIND THE FREAKING "TOTALLY UNOFFICIAL NINJA-DUDE DICTIONARY", and all i can say is SWEEEEEEEEEEET!!!!! So like check it, i took offense to this guys totally whack comment and said back to him, "look dude i don't want any trouble, i just want a truck, some fritos, a bean bag chair, and a magic eight ball, I'm not asking for much in life, so just cut me a break before i have to BREAK THIS WEENIER ALL UP IN YOUR BEHIND AND SHIT OUT SHITTY TACO JUICE ALL ON YOUR MIDNIGHT BLACK NOSTROL LOOKING LIKE AN EWOK PLAYING A HARMONICA THAT SMELLS LIKE FISH BUT IT IS REALLY A FISH'S SWEATY KNEE CAP, GEEZ!!@!" At this point i started hearing darth vader in my head saying stuff like, "PLATS... YOU ARE MY DADDY. COME TO THE GAY SIDE-- Hey, how have you been. That's pretty tight, what are you doing this weekend dude, yeah? you should totally bust this friggen noodle whacker bean trotting slap smacking tattle telling ass mojo dookie vagina licking SHIT FANOOGSTER PENUT HEAD CRACKER BARREL AND SHRIMP STICK EATING PLAYING SOME CHOPSTICK SOUNDING SONG WITH A PAIR OF MUSICAL CHOPSTICKS-- HOLY SMOKES THOSE REALLY ARE MUSICAL CHOPSTICKS WHAT AEW<R# $M #$#@." Woah, shut the FE#$#@@# up darth gayer, you are totally pissing me off right now, and at this point i am totally wondering, is that a mcdonalds across the street? i never noticed that before, AND ALL OF THE SUDDEN THE FREAKING FANS IN THE PLACE STARTED SPINNING FAST AND THE LIGHT WENT OUT AND I WOKE UP STRAPED TO A CHAIR AND THE CHINESE GUY REALLY TURNED OUT TO BE DAVID COPPERFIELD, AND HE TOTALLY PULLED SOME FREAKING WHITE CAKE BATTER OUT OF HIS HAT AND THREW IT UP IN THE AIR AND GOT IT ALL ON HIMSELF, i didn't get it, because he starts laughing, and says, "yes jason, how do you like me when i am all dirty." and i was totally freaking perplexed, what the heck is this guy talking about, and why does he have wet cake-batter all over him, was he cooking? tight maybe he brought me here to sample some kinda MAGICAL CAKE, HOLY SMOKES THIS IS LIKE A TRIP TO DISNEY WORLD !@#!@#@$ WHERE THE FREAK IS MICKIE MOUSE AND TIDO WILKENS!!!!!!!!!!! SO anyway he puts on some Bob Marley and starts danacing all funky moving his hips around, and i started thinking in my head, hey wait a minute, maybe he isn't cooking, maybe he wants to PLAY HOOLA HOOP AND HE CAN'T AFFORD ONE, TURNS OUT THAT IS WHY HE CAPTURED ME BECAUSE THIS FOOL HAS BEEN PLAING SKIP-IT FOR THE LAST FEW YEARS CAUSE HIS MOM TOTALLY BROKE HIS HOOLA HOOP OVER HER CRUSTED DOGGY HEAD WHEN SHE WAS BARKING AT THE MAIL MAN THAT HAD A CHEESE AND BEAN BURRITO FOR LUNCH SO HIS STOMACH WAS UPSET AND HE TRIPPED ON THE WAY TO THE MALL AND LIKE WHAT THE FREAK THIS GUY IS A MONKEY DONGLE PENILE RECEE PENUT BUTTER CUP, so i decided to give david my hoola hoop and he was totally PUMPED, to make a long story short, dave and i turned out to be good friends, and like it's funny because every now and then he does a magic trick where wet cake-batter comes up from his belly button through his shirt, but like in order from him to do this trick he has to look at me really funny, i don't know how he does it man, HOLY SMOKES THAT ISN'T CAKE BATTER THIS SICK PERVERT WHAT THE FREAK I CAN'T BELIEVE I DIDN'T EVEN THINK ABOUT THAT WHAT THE MOTHER EFF THIS DUDE HAS GOT TO GO, I GOTTA JET PEOPLE, I GOT SOME SERIOUS SMACK TO TAKE CARE OFF, I'LL LET YOU KNOW HOW IT WENT WHEN I GET BACK-- HOLY SMOKES MAN I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS CRAP I AM SCARRED FOR LIFE, I WILL TEACH THIS GUY A LESSON THAT FREAKING FELMA AND LOUIS DOUCHING ASS CRACK FREAKING FALLOPIAN BILE EATING TARD DUST SWALLOWING CAN I GET AN ORDER OF FRIES WITH THAT CRAP FACE SMACK LICK. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I AM SOO FREAKING SUPER PISSEDF #I$J#@I$OJ@# $JLKQWERH JKN#@$JKNFKM #$N@#$ DNF#$DF
PEACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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